Well now I forgot I had this little blogger....I need to speak out again and forgot you were here..So how am I? Well I moved in with the love of my life. We got engaged. We got a kitty. And I quit the soul sucking job of cold iron to a faery just two days ago. A year and a half I have been numb, tired, angry, and warn out by a job that made me hate life. HOW could I hate life? I have the love of my life calling me his beauty everyday smiling at me and staring at me making me feel the most LOVE I have ever known. I have a awesome cat that is insane and cute that makes me laugh but I forgot cause the job made me so sad...so sucidal. My love knew and is supportive as hell for months he was telling me to leave that place that we would be fine and that I would find something. But I was scared, scared to give up the lies and comfort they were giving me. Scared to make the leap into a part time job so I could focus on my creative side more. I mean I intend to find work soon I do value a small break to get my head straight and to sleep without distrubance for a few days. My love so supportive is allowing me this freedom. He is hard working and stands to the fact that it does not bother him that I do this. Cause I have been with others who said it was okay and then when it did happen freaked out cause I was the sugar mamma with no sugar but some spice. So now on my second day of being free I thank the love of my life for his patiance, his love, and his stabilty as I explore myself. He said I am creative and creative types need to be creating he is a doer type so he wants me to create. I have never dated a doer before only other creative types and the head butting was hell. Now I feel free to think and dream....but I make sure he is well taken care of and I make him happy as I journey this path. Now as to where the path is leading I am not sure. I have my puppets, I want to write, I WANT TO SING SO BAD, I also have a friend making a movie about me, and another friend doing tours who wants me to help her bussiness. So I am standing here trying to see what I can do. The easiet thing to get my head in gear is writing. So here I am rambling away again. Trying to sort out the roads ahead of me.
I know my love life is at last perfect I am getting married....oh yeah I asked him you know why? Cause I knew it was real at last I have said no 5 times in my life...never believed in the idea of marriage at all til I met him. I know he is the one I want by my side when my hair is gray and I am pooping on myself....lol. I want his hand in mine forever and more....and it is the most real love I have ever known. I am not a fool for love but I have become a fool for is love. I adore him. He is elegant and funny charming and reliable and loyal so loyal to me. At last I feel like I met my true love. He even said that he would be okay with being the wizard behind my curtain for my creative pursuits helping me in whatever way in the backround I need. I am in shock and awe. At once I have the story book ideal of love....my knight, my king...my partner in life. I am over welmed and blessed. And I even feel giidy around him. I knew I wanted to ask him when after a year kissing him still made me dizzy. I have never experienced the first kiss or the first orgasim over and over like I have with him. That new feeling is like a drug. And it has not faded at all. So I keep wanting more. He is my king. Well that is all I will ramble tonight I will come back later and try to keep this blog going....so on that note see you next year...kidding. No I have some bad poetry I will load onto here once I get my notebooks cleaned up.
thanks for tuning in to another year in my life upside but never down....free at last.
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