opps the writing every day thing just kinda slipped my mind.

But here I am, telling you some stories.  Let's see where to begin this time.  Well I will begin with what has been on my mind a lot lately, solitude.  Being alone is something as a kid I was very used to.  My parents having disabilities, us being poor, and kids being cruel I never had many friends.  When I did take on a friend under the age of 14 they were using me as a prop to a cruel joke, or just using me.  So a lot of alone time.  I then entered high school and became popular through the fact my parents would buy anyone alcohol and let them drink it at my house.  So now i had friends who just wanted some booze and would sneak out.  Me and my mom covering their asses while they were gone.  Then I started dating someone who changed my life.  For good and bad she showed me music, art, movies, etc....all the things I was into but at last had someone to share it with.  That relationship we will just say was a roller coaster ride of super lil goth girls.  We were in our own dreamworld we had both created, it was intense and now I can barely remember a thing.  Around 14 or 15 I took off on the road hitchhiing.  This awesome and strange lady in all white with dreads appeared in the local coffee shop we all lived at when not in school or heck even when skipping school.  She was amazing...to me.  My friends thought she was a dirty hippy, but to me she glowed and seemed so powerful.  She offered-ed me a tarot reading, to my friends disgust I took it.  NOW mind you I have been reading tarot since I was 12, turned onto it by Grandmother Little moon who owned a metaphysical store that is still open in my home town.  That place has been in business since the early 80's.  Anyway I would shop lift from her til she busted me and made me work for the store.  She started with forcing tarot, runes, palm reading, etc..on my young mind.  Til the point me and my skateboard were at that store everyday after school with decks and books and all that in front of me while I watched the store and made sales.  I want to insert I am not a shoplifter anymore she kinda made me realize it sucked and made me work it off.  CUT back to the hippy lady that came into my life.  I was in school but suicidal as hell and unhappy, my girlfriend at the time was unsure but let me go.  The tarot reading the white lady gave me told me to travel to take off to see the land.  She looked at me and two days after a lollipolza that me and my ex went to I was in a Subaru with her, her dog, all her drums, and 11 puppies...and away we went.  I was a total brat at first, sleeping in the woods, spare changing by singing on the street, getting food boxes from churches, traveling state to state.  We went all the way to Calf.  I saw the Grateful Dead play, who I did not even know at all.  I went to Rainbow Gatherings which totally freaked my young gothic ass out. We went to strange parties and meet interesting and shitty people.  It was an adventure, that came to an end cause I just wanted to go home.  She took care of me cause she promised my mom she would.  Oh you are possibly wondering how I ran away, I did not I had my parents blessing.  And when cops were around it was like I was invisible, I never had an issue. They all thought the light lady was my mom. hahahahahaha. I was gone for almost a year...but in that year I lived more life then I had ever known.  I saw places, people, things, that I had only seen on tv. My parents never went on vacations like other families, I just went on church field trips or school ones, and occasionally went with friends somewhere but this far for this long was new to me.  I have no idea why I am rambling on about this but it has been a theme in my life.  I am stable somewhere and all I think about is leaving, Then I leave and all I want to do is go home.  What the hell is wrong with me.  And now it is hitting me again.  I am alone alot these days thinking about my whole life. HOW WEIRD it has been and why? What is this all leading me too.  It seems I meet people all the time who want me to take off with them, but then when i do I just want to come home.  I have a home right now, in the basement of a friends house, but I never feel like it really is my home.  I love it, he the roomie is good ti me, but I feel like I should be somewhere else, doing something else all the time.  It has been a challenge for all my lovers and friends who stand by me, let me go, have me come back, let me go, I come back....over rand over again.  I will write more later life is calling me.